Delete your first sentence.
Most cold emails open with the sender. Start with the reader instead, and you earn the second line.
What Priya sees before she opens it
On this page
Your first line is in the preview
Before anyone opens your email, the inbox shows who it’s from, the subject and the start of your first line. That is three chances to look like a pitch, or like a note worth reading.
“My name is James and I’m the founder of…” spends that space on you. She doesn’t know you yet, so it tells her nothing. A first line about her page, her team or her customers tells her why this email is for her.
The teardown
The same email, before and after. Tap or swipe the card to flip it.
How to rewrite it
Find one thing you can check.
Look at their website, a job ad, a review or a recent post. Pick one detail they would recognise.
Put it in the first line.
Say it the way they would: “Your Leeds clinic page ranks well, but…”, not “I noticed that your company…”.
Move your name to the end.
Your name is already in the From line, and your signature says the rest.
Check the preview.
Send it to yourself first. If the preview starts with I, my or we, rewrite it.
Try it on your own opener
Paste the first sentence of an email you are about to send.
A quick word check, not a grade. It runs in your browser and nothing is sent.
Three openers to copy
Each one starts with something you can check about them. Replace every field before you send.
Your {{page}} ranks well, but on a phone {{problem}}.
Saw {{company}} is hiring a {{role}} in {{city}}. {{question}}?
Your recent reviews keep mentioning {{detail}}. {{question}}?
Before you send
- The first line is about them
- Your name is in the signature, not the opener
- One question they can answer quickly
- An easy way to opt out
UK rules expect that opt-out. In plain English: who you can cold email in the UK. Not legal advice.
